Ennis at 50
by Ferdy 63
Summary: I recently watched Brokeback Mountain again for the first time in years. It really touched me and inspired this short little one shot. Ennis looks back and remembers the good and bad. Hope you enjoy it and please review.


Ennis Del Mar sat in a rocker on the rickety front porch of the small ranch house as dusk settled in around him. Summer was returning to the Wyoming mountains. The trees were starting to bud, grass was growing and the animals were all getting frisky. This time of year always brought back memories of his first trip up Brokeback. That had been nearly 30 years ago now. It didn't seem possible that so much time had passed.

Ennis could still so clearly remember the first time he saw Jack Twist, pulling into the parking lot in that old rust bucket of a truck. If he had known on that day all that was to follow, he wondered, would he still have taken that job? He already knew the answer, though. Of course he'd take it, even if it meant twice the heartache he'd had to go through. He'd put up with anything, take whatever pain and consequences that followed. It didn't matter, as long as it meant Jack would be a part of his life.

His life had never been complete except for the moments he was with Jack. As much of a jackass as that man was at times, he was the love of Ennis's life. It had taken a long time for Ennis to be able to admit that to himself. Jack had always had an easier time dealing with their relationship. If Ennis would have listened, he and Jack could have been together all those years, running that cow and calf operation that Jack had dreamed of, but Ennis had been too afraid.

All his life he'd heard the jokes and whispers, and the names people called men like him and Jack – queer, fag, and homo were the mildest. He'd seen the hate that such relationships caused, starting with that of his own father when he took his young sons to see the dead queer in the drainage ditch. Ennis had been afraid to be labeled, to be ostracized. The funny thing was that he'd ended up ostracizing himself from pretty much everyone else anyway. He'd spent a lot of lonely nights in a tiny, drafty trailer dreaming of Jack when he could have been spending that time actually being with the man he loved.

Ennis lit a cigarette and watched as the fireflies started sparking in the yard. Junior and Jennie always loved chasing "lightning bugs" when they were little. Now his girls were all grown up with families of their own. He visited them once or twice a year. His grandkids called him Papa Ennis. He was grateful for the fact that the girls still wanted him in their lives. He knew he had let them down too many times to count when they were little.

After nearly 28 years of rolling around the west taking whatever ranching job he could find, Ennis had finally settled down in this little old house in Wyoming not far from Brokeback Mountain. The small ranch was falling apart when he found it, but over the last couple of years, with a lot of hard work, it looked good. It was home. There were a couple of cows out in the pasture and a couple of horses in the barn. An old beagle dog with one ear half gone had also taken up residence. Ennis had named him Aguirre after the old fart that had been the sheep owner all those years ago.

It hadn't been an easy life, but Ennis knew he was a lucky man despite the hardships. Sometimes he wished he could turn the clock back and redraw the map of his life, make different decisions at those critical moments, the ones you never realized were happening until long after there was any way to change course. Then again, things could have turned out much worse if he hadn't made the choices that he'd made. He'd done the best he could and he tried not to let regret cloud over the good memories.

It was fully dark now and starting to get chilly. Ennis stubbed out his cigarette and started to get up. About that time he heard his name being called, "Ennis, where in the hell are you? Supper's been on the table for 15 minutes. If I've got to cook it, by God, you are going to eat it." Jack Twist was getting to be a real ornery old cuss. He chuckled softly at the thought.

If he hadn't made the choice to follow Jack back to Texas after their last "fishing" trip, where would they be now? He figured he'd probably still be in some flimsy trailer in the middle of nowhere dreaming of Jack. And Jack, well Jack might have gone to Mexico or moved on to some other fellow. It didn't really matter now. They had been together ever since.

They'd stayed on the move a lot at first. Anytime talk started up about them, they'd move on pretty quick. Jack usually wanted to stay and fight but Ennis wouldn't let him. He knew that the kind of men who would come after them would be coming with more than their fists.

They both saved as much money as possible from every job they ever got and finally had enough a few years ago to buy this place. He prayed every night that they'd never have to move on from here but, if it happened, at least he and Jack would still be together. They'd always be together.

Jack yelled again, "Ennis!" He scuffed his boots against the mat before going in and called back, "Comin' little darlin'. I'm comin'." Lord, how he did love that cocky little son of a bitch.


End file.
